Parenting

I liked in class when we talked about the characteristics/qualities of parenting. I think that all of those four qualities are important to have in parenting. Especially the respect quality. Without respect parenting is going to be a lot harder than it needs to be. With respect your children will listen to you more, and they will give you respect. You are teaching your children not bossing them around, you are not their master you are their parent. Also I think it does take a lot of courage to raise children. It is hard and you will take risks, but in the end it is worth it. Parenting is also a huge responsibility, your children are depending on you. Every parent should take this responsibility seriously. Also the last thing was cooperation. This is important, things will be easier if the family is cooperating together.
I think the best parenting style is active parenting. You are the parent, you are not the child's friend or master. You want your children to make choices, but they have to suffer the consequences of the choices they make. You cannot protect them from consequences or they will never learn. Another thing a good parent does not do is lecture. You want to try to give advice where it is wanted, but spend time listening to your child. Get to know them and their feelings. Children respond to feelings, and if they know you understand their feelings they are more likely to talk to you about it. Have reflective listening. Validate their feelings. Have respect for your child, and they will return that respect. Talk to your child about the consequences of their decisions, but don't make the decision for them. Be consistent with your communication with your child. Give your child your full attention when talking to them, make sure they know you want to talk to them. Develop a good relationship with your child.

Counseling In Families

I liked today's discussion on counseling. I think it is so important to counsel with our families about big decisions. When I was growing up we always had family counsel on Sunday night. It helped us come together and know what everyone was doing that week. Also we talked about the big issues in the family, and we figured out what we were going to do. When we could not come up with a unanimous decision usually my dad would just make the executive decision. My parents all made sure though that we could all say our opinions or what we thought the family should do. It is so important that we do this in our families because it helps everyone feel included and it helps the family to bond. Another things that i think is important that I will implement in my marriage is weekly parental counseling. I think it is vital to a marriage to have time at least once a week where you and your spouse can counsel together. It gives you time to make decisions about the family, and to just be together and talk and bond without the kids being there.  

Family Crisis

In class today we talked a lot about ABC. A is the actual event, or crisis. B is the behavioral responses. C is the cognition or the thoughts and interpretation of the event. I really liked how this kind of lays out the types of things that actually happen when we experience a crisis in our families. Also I think sometimes people look at other families going through a crisis and judge them on how they are reacting or why they are acting that way. We really can't do this, because we really don't know what we would do in that situation unless we have experienced that same crisis. In that case you would not be judging them, you could be sympathetic to them and try to help them and let them know that you know how they are feeling.
Another thing I thought about when dealing with a crisis is how you think about it later, and how you experience it has a lot to do with your attitude. If you are going through this event thinking that it is unfair and that it really sucks, and that you will not learn anything from it then that is probably what is going to happen. This attitude not only affects you but it also affects all the other people around you that are dealing with the crisis too. It is so important that we try not to have a bad attitude, and that we just try to draw strength from the people around us. I know that when my family experiences a crisis we draw strength from each other. Not just one person has the strength either, it is more like we all boost each other up. Together we get through it, and it is always a lot harder when we are trying to get through it alone. My family works as a team, and we function as a team, so when we are going through hard times we get through it as a team.
Another thing I appreciated that we talked about was how to convey the news of a crisis. It can make a world of difference if you calmly tell somebody what happened, or if you are panicked and yelling about what happened. I think especially if you have young children you need to exercise restraint in telling them about the crisis. You should not be crying and hysterical when telling them something because that is how they are going to react. You should be calm and collected and let the children lean on you for support when telling them of a crisis. I remember when my grandfather died my parents sat all of us kids down and calmly told us that he had passed away and that we were going to leave the next day for his funeral. We did not over react or anything, we were all sad, but it was something we could handle. Family crisis are already hard to handle, we do not need to make them worse with how we deliver the news, or how we react to the news.